By Ludmila Enticott, Health & Wellbeing Coach
Please read on for the latest article from our Health & Wellbeing Coach, Ludmila.
It is interesting how anxiety seems to creep up these days even for those who do not present with apparently obvious reasons. There may be several factors we overlook today as part of our normal way of life which might come together to evoke a range of negative feelings and affect our internal balance.
When we constantly had to look for food and engage with the outside world as part of our daily routines, the motivation to live was enough to keep ourselves happy. Making it through to the next day alive meant we had a successful day. Basic needs relating to immediate survival are perceived as very important by our mammal brains and are therefore thoroughly rewarded with the release of ‘happy hormones’. There was a sense of achievement in each day and life was simpler from that angle, albeit much harder in other aspects. Depression does not tend to feature so much when we are heavily involved with our basic survival.
Now, for those living in a world where basic needs are routinely met without much effort, the only other human needs left for our brain to pursue in hope for ‘happy brain chemicals’ are the more complex social needs. This is one of the reasons why the social media craze has taken over the world with virtually no exceptions amongst the many different cultures. It is interesting to think about how this has come to be.
One of the worse things for humans is social isolation. Looking back at our ancestral ways, studies show that humans are not meant to live alone or amongst too many strangers and that is because our chances of survival have always been much better within communities. Today research shows the risk of mortality for most diseases increases by about three-fold for those who are ill and lonely at the same time. The brain gets overwhelmed with fear when it senses we are alone. The perceived danger in the brain is huge when we cannot detect anything like a support network for us.
So, if a support network is so important for the human brain, what about social media? The problems seem to come from how virtual contact differs from real contact. The social media community does not offer the same level of safety & security that humans find in small tight communities where people know each other well and interdepend. This is central to the issue around resilience. As humans, we love stress: we seek adventure, amusement parts, horror films and even PhD’s! But the caveat here is: we welcome stress or challenges when we feel safe and supported. These feelings inform our brain that we have better chances to win and, even if we do not win, somebody will be there to pick us up from the fall. Another point is knowing the stress will be of reasonable duration, not too long lasting or extremely energy consuming. We tend to naturally put ourselves up for challenges when we know we have got our backs covered.
Humans are not wired to face too many strangers in their lifetime because, deep inside us, there are brain mechanisms that link ‘strangers’ with ‘danger’. Social media exposes us to a lot more strangers than it is healthy for our mammal brains. Besides, those relationships based on ‘likes’ do not count to make us feel safe or accepted. Hence, there is no amount of ‘likes’ or ‘Facebook friends’ that seem to be enough. This is especially noticeable for youngsters who associate their self-worth with the amounts of comments, likes or subscribers they have in their YouTube channels for example. Online relationships, by nature, cannot offer the same level of acceptance we seek to replace since our loss of community life. The need for validation is a constant variable that does not go unnoticed by our brains, even if at a more subconscious level. Interactions charged with this level of vulnerability do not activate the real ‘feel good’ areas of our brain because the areas involved with alert and caution will be active in these situations. The brain is not so convinced these are fully benign interactions because it suspects too many factors as ‘unknown’. As a result, anxiety could creep up even whilst we think we are just having fun.
Although it is not quite so possible to live in small tight communities in the ‘globalised world’, an awareness of this shared human need for community life may help us avoid the pitfalls of technology. It might prevent us from falling prey to a ‘need for connection’ in a world that does not offer the sense of belonging. Online communities can be most helpful when they complement our existing relationships with families and friends without attempting to replace them. The current challenges the world faces could serve to bring back simple but essential ‘human needs’ to centre of stage and inspire us all to pay more attention to the basics. More meaningful positive interactions can start at work, at home and in the wider community, especially as we develop new insights through the adversities we face. Lastly, it is worth mentioning that the part of the nervous system involved with social engagement is the same one for health, growth, and restoration.